Thursday, August 26, 2004
Waitresses
Have you ever had this situation when you are enjoying a nice meal at some upscale restaurant in town (which by the way is not something I do too often) with your loved one and are just about to tell her something to the effect of "your eyes remind me of completely solvable integral equations" when you hear a kind of vague buzz in your ear that signifies, without fail, a terrible catastrophe and you turn around to see a smiling matire'd asking you "and how is your meal today". You smile and try to say "fnnn" and hope he will just dissappear.
You turn once again to your food, now struggling to get that energy and courage back into those bones so that you can go back to her eyes and integral equations when "Oh God... not again ... " here comes the waiter with more water... " I dont WANT more water dammnit.... did I ask for more water...?" Read through this entire incident, do you notice me ever even imagining that I would like more water ? So he pours you water and then he pours her more water and you smile and he smiles and then "oh blasphemy!!!!" your friend-soon-to-be-girlfriend smiles at him....it has been so long since she smiled at you... maybe I should stop all this and be a waiter pouring water.
Anyways, so, now we have more water than the great lakes. Thank you very much. Can we now please go back to my love life ?
For the fourth time this evening I open my mouth and begin my treatise on integral equations when "ohhhh.... nooo.... ", here comes the waiter with the menus asking us whether we need deserts. YES I need a desert, can I get the top slice of Sahara please, some place with no water and no waiter.
So now everything is done. The expensive meal has gone by with the maximum amount of conversation happening between me and the head waiter and the minimum between me and mira in front of me. I sometimes wonder why I bring her to these stupid places where you pay $50 a plate to eat some thing you can't pronounce and have conversations with the waiters. I always held the opinion that one shouldn't eat at places where the waiters are better dressed that one is.
With such seething thoughts of revenge in my mind, I went back to the restaurent the next day and ordered, well something I can neither pronounce nor spell and waited. Sure enough here she comes. "How is the food sir ?". I smile with glee only I can comprehend and say " Well there is no salt in the steak, there is absolutely no taste to the salad, the well done steak is almost a moo-ing at me, the wine is flat and the sliverware looks so old that I am afraid to eat with it, otherwise things are fine" and she says " Wonderful, thank you" and walks away. WWOOOOOWWWW Wwait a minute... did she say "wonderful, thank you" and walk away, let me read that again... yeah that is what she did. Now why would she do that..? This is not going according to plan at all. Oh shoot, what do I do now... and that is when i decided that this should go into my blog.
'ave fun
You turn once again to your food, now struggling to get that energy and courage back into those bones so that you can go back to her eyes and integral equations when "Oh God... not again ... " here comes the waiter with more water... " I dont WANT more water dammnit.... did I ask for more water...?" Read through this entire incident, do you notice me ever even imagining that I would like more water ? So he pours you water and then he pours her more water and you smile and he smiles and then "oh blasphemy!!!!" your friend-soon-to-be-girlfriend smiles at him....it has been so long since she smiled at you... maybe I should stop all this and be a waiter pouring water.
Anyways, so, now we have more water than the great lakes. Thank you very much. Can we now please go back to my love life ?
For the fourth time this evening I open my mouth and begin my treatise on integral equations when "ohhhh.... nooo.... ", here comes the waiter with the menus asking us whether we need deserts. YES I need a desert, can I get the top slice of Sahara please, some place with no water and no waiter.
So now everything is done. The expensive meal has gone by with the maximum amount of conversation happening between me and the head waiter and the minimum between me and mira in front of me. I sometimes wonder why I bring her to these stupid places where you pay $50 a plate to eat some thing you can't pronounce and have conversations with the waiters. I always held the opinion that one shouldn't eat at places where the waiters are better dressed that one is.
With such seething thoughts of revenge in my mind, I went back to the restaurent the next day and ordered, well something I can neither pronounce nor spell and waited. Sure enough here she comes. "How is the food sir ?". I smile with glee only I can comprehend and say " Well there is no salt in the steak, there is absolutely no taste to the salad, the well done steak is almost a moo-ing at me, the wine is flat and the sliverware looks so old that I am afraid to eat with it, otherwise things are fine" and she says " Wonderful, thank you" and walks away. WWOOOOOWWWW Wwait a minute... did she say "wonderful, thank you" and walk away, let me read that again... yeah that is what she did. Now why would she do that..? This is not going according to plan at all. Oh shoot, what do I do now... and that is when i decided that this should go into my blog.
'ave fun
